After 22 years of marriage, in less than a day, it was all over. From sharing the load to carrying the full load over night. It’s a heavy load for one in a flash ( I wanted to write “a fuck” but evidence indicates his affair had been going on for over a year, maybe more) My admiration for single parents, which I am now a member, I can only applaud you all.
You loose your partner, best friend, at a time when you need them the most. Penny Cheater has no idea what this means. He just jumped from one bed to the next in the first night of separation. Lucky PC! But now you find yourself with what you use to do every day, what your Penny Cheater did every day AND all the fucking shitty painful crap you now have to drive to completion like legalities, finances, preparing house for sale, buying a new one, nurturing hurt children and primarily doing all this through a haze of humiliation, lack of dignity, embarrassment, hurt, unbearable pain and often a drink or four.
But in this very ugly process you do gain a new surrogate Penny Cheater in the form of “lists”. Your new romance. Oh my, the amount of lists I have written. My attempt, your attempt, to organize your brain, keep it together at a time when you just can’t hold it together any longer. Lists ground you. They let you dump the overwhelming confusion on to paper to allow you to deal with tomorrow and thus leaving the evening free to grieve the brutal loss and hurt of a Penny Cheater.
Kicking out your Penny Cheater is like having a baby. One day you are thinking for two. The next day, you are thinking for someone new. You instantly split the thinking into three or four depending on how many children you have. A pet or two just takes it to a whole new level. Totally sucks yer brains out for a while until you get into the groove.
Loosing your Penny Cheater is the same. Thinking, organizing, planning, living, loving, surviving….once shared by two.
Lists, lists and more lists. My attempt at keeping the loss of Penny Cheater together. Bring on the groove.