Do you want them back?

IMG_5662 In many splits with a Penny Cheater, you are asked repeatedly “would you take them back“? A scary question when you are vulnerable, overwhelmed with now 100% of the parental duties and maintaining a home, the loneliness, the empty bed for the first time in many many years. What would you do?

I worried about this subject when the texts came through 3 months after I kicked him out. “You are beautiful“,  “I still think of you every day” – I turned to my new confidante – the internet. I researched how to behave and what was the best approach. The gurus said, be polite, be strong, be diplomatic.

IMG_5663Are you fucking kidding me? I decided that the for me the gurus were wrong. I recognized the pain. the extreme loneliness, the silence, the loss of my best friend, partner, the closest human in my life. Based on Penny Cheaters negligence I decided that in my vulnerable state I did not wish to be presented with the choice of taking him back. EVER. So I read the gurus recommendations and decided to do the complete opposite. I looked needy, desperate, stopped the grooming, got drunk when Penny Cheater was coming over to see the kids. I did everything against all internet advice. I made sure that there would be no way of any return from this Penny Cheater. His side of the bed was cold. And that’s the way it was going to stay. I did not want to choose. I was not going back. I did not wish to set myself up to be hurt again. Once bitten once ridden.



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