Today is a better day?

ChangeI buried the separation agreement in 4 months. Penny Cheater signed on our 15th wedding anniversary – coz he is dumb – although we had been together for 22 years. It was a generous gift. I could have divorced him if he signed a letter admitting to adultery, which I know he would have, but it would have impacted on my benefits. So I opted for separation.

He left in May. It’s all I did that summer while he partied, went golfing and shagged – FYI – he sucked in bed!!! Not my problem anymore – looking for an image that is really tiny here! Guilt was in the air – move fast everyone – it pays to move fast! It’s in your favour. Get the dollars you really want while mega guilt burns their ass! Work it.

Then I prepared our family home for sale. 5 bedroom house of memories that became hell. Fuck Penny Cheater!! While he golfed, dropped parenting and went on honeymoon, I boxed, cleared out crap, cried, hated, drank!

2nd year – put house on market and looked for a new one for me and the boys. Sold & purchased by August that year. That fall, I crashed with exhaustion never opening up half of the boxes when I got in the new house. I was spent.

2015 brought a “no mans land” kind of peace. A void of “what do I care about anymore?” 3rd year started with not much until I was invited to Cuba in March and my mother said I had to go and crack my rut.  Was I in a rut? I did not even notice.

I went, despite my protests and never wanting to ever go to Cuba. And from that trip, I woke up.

Today is a better day. To be continued………